Company Lacks Manpower To Complete Newest Round Of Layoffs

📆 7/29/2020 4:03 AM
📰 TheOnion

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HOUSTON—High-level sources at the accounting firm McCall and Associates told reporters Monday morning that the company does not currently have enough manpower to perform a much-needed round of layoffs. “Downsizing is definitely on the agenda, but right now we just don’t have the staff necessary to take care of it,” said CEO David Carmichael, who explained that both the supervisors responsible for deciding which employees to terminate and the personnel tasked with conducting exit interviews had already been let go. “Trisha in HR used to take care of a lot of this stuff, but she was fired in the last round of cuts. My only hope now is that maybe we can hire a few temporary workers to take care of laying off some of these full-timers.” Carmichael then reportedly raised his eyes to survey his company’s completely empty offices, let out a long, deep sigh, and put his head down on his desk.

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Maybe have that one guy in the picture do it.

Need robots to perform layoffs. Then full automation will be complete.

Give me a few years before I can laugh at this

Time to outsource.

Their motto is, you will die as you were born: unemployed.

Corporate America am I right guys 🤖

More classic heat

Oops

holy shit

Where's his mask? Rheeeeeeeeee!😷😈

Stop following me.

That's Herbert. He is actually homeless. He sleeps under his desk. The boss thought he is dedicated, and promoted him to Vice President. He showers usually at the gym, but the gym has been closed for 4 months, so he rents a motel room once a month to shower. He smells real bad...

🤣

Big oOf

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