My parents are very patriarchal. My brother, the eldest, got more attention, resources, money, support, etc. over me, the daughter. My brother went to expensive private schools, landed a lucrative career, and married a wealthy woman with an identical background. He wouldn’t have such success otherwise. My brother’s marriage merges his wealth with my SIL’s multi-generational and personal wealth, which doesn’t come close to the self-made money my husband and I have.
You need to work with a financial planner to determine exactly where you need to be financially to feel secure about retirement. And once you have a number, you’re both going to have to make sacrifices to get there. Maybe it means you retire a few years later, but earlier than you would if you kept going down this path. Your wife may have to consider working in a market where the cost of living is cheaper.
Years ago I asked to be disinherited but was explicitly denied. That’s their choice and I can’t directly change it. But if I have children, which I hope to in the near future, I feel even more strongly about my position and think I can influence them—specifically by linking disinheritance to family time .
Boohoo cry into your piles of cash. Oy.
Ignore their attitude. Ask them how the dogs are doing.