Boeing CEO Admits Company Made Mistake By Including Automatic Self-Destruct Function On All 737 Max Planes

📆 6/22/2019 5:39 PM
📰 TheOnion

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CHICAGO—Acknowledging that certain practical considerations had been overlooked in production, Boeing president and CEO Dennis Muilenburg admitted at a press conference Monday that the company had made a mistake by including an automatic self-destruct function on all 737 Max airplanes. “At the time, we thought that having a simple, one-step option for destroying the aircraft would streamline operations and provide convenience to pilots, but in hindsight, we now see that it probably wasn’t the best idea,” said Muilenburg, noting that in light of two crashes within the past year, the button to obliterate the now-grounded planes should have at the very least been labeled and located in an area that wasn’t directly on the pilot’s yoke. “After a lot of discussion, all Boeing executives agree that if we had to do it over again, we would have either omitted the destruction feature or included it as an optional upgrade. And even then, we probably should have added some sort of fail-safe against accidental activation, like a flip box over the button or an additional feature that would cancel the 10-second countdown, which we did not think to include.” Muilenburg added that the recent oversights had prompted the company to also remove the self-destruct buttons from first class seating in all Boeing jets after several passengers had mistaken them for the flight attendant call button.

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Wow the onion puts one out there and so far no triggered millennials. Nice job, even though you are king of engineer-shaming a little bit....

This one needs to go in the “almost too real” HOF

This joke is not clever or funny enough to justify mocking the deaths of hundreds of people. IMO.

As long as the button for it triggers an alert that says 'PLEASE DO NOT PRESS THIS BUTTON AGAIN', Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy style

Urethramancer In real life they'd never admit to anything ...

Macgruber's team awaiting orders

Not inaccurate. 'I can't feel my sensor -- into the ground we go then!'.

It's fine as long as it includes an 'Are You Sure You Want To Do This?' button.

Nah...the true problem was bad user interface, the self-destruct button was next to fasten seatbelt button

The Onion Loses All Funding, Because They Cannot Tell A Joke

What's the problem here? We all want to have our plane self-destructed when we're flying

Yeah but think of the savings.

SELF DESTRUCT ? Are you kidding me? On Passenger planes? What the hell is that for? I am dismayed by this news !!! How do you trust a plane that has a SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON? What if pilot loses it ? What if it gets pushed by accident? This is horrendous news.

Oh man.

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