Quinta Brunson. Photo: Sela Shiloni The below excerpt is from writer, comedian, and 2020 Vulture “Comedian You Should Know” Quinta Brunson’s new book of essays, She Memes Well, which will be released on June 15.
I picked up my phone, clicked it open, and found that it was still on Twitter. My eyes widened at the sight — my tweet had 232 RTs and 123 favorites. It had only been a few minutes. Reader, I don’t know if you know this but to have this type of retweet-to-fave ratio in such a short amount of time usually means you’ve caused some trouble on the app, and that others had something to say about it. My cheeks grew hot and my body filled with dread: I was being called out.
Trying to grasp at the collective anger of everyone weighing in on my tweet was like trying to hold on to Silly Putty: The tighter I held, the more it dripped out of my hands. In the real world, I would’ve at least been able to speak to the intricacies of the Cosby case and what it meant for Black America, but on Twitter it was impossible to have a nuanced conversation.
Let me give you another example. A little while ago, I was reading story after story about young Black girls getting kidnapped. I was furious, reading about these missing teens who were most likely being sex-trafficked, and wanted to use my platform to draw attention to the issue. I thought maybe if more people knew about what was going on, we could group our minds together to find a solution. Rally our leaders, or communities, or something.
Within seconds I got a response from someone saying, “Well, this is reductionist thinking because sex-trafficking of young Black girls actually has been happening a long time.” Ultimately, this isn’t a story about whether or not it was my place to weigh in on the Cosby trial, or about sex-trafficking, or about how to optimize your Twitter usage. This is a story about what I learned — How to Mind My Own Damn Business. The internet has normalized a tendency for those of us on it to always be up in each other’s and strangers’ business, and I’m not sure to what benefit.
Step One: Are you about to speak on something that doesn’t concern you? You could do that. But wait! Is your laundry done? Have you paid that bill that’s about to go to collections? Instead of talking about what Cardi should do with Offset, have you ONSET working out your own relationships? Consider taking care of yourself before you start putting your nose into the goings-on of others.
Step Seven: At the end of each day, put your phone in a drawer. You’re going to break this rule, and that’s okay, but at least try doing it tonight and tomorrow and a couple of days in the upcoming weeks. When you feel yourself getting worked up, just remember — drawer. The drawer is a psychological jail for your phone.
quintabrunson Twitter isn't 'hell'. Geez.
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