A Time Line of My Family’s Role in the 2023 Economic Collapse, Caused by a Short Squeeze of the Bobblehead Market

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“My grandfather Jocko Bonzo emigrates from Serbia to the U.S. and starts a small popcorn business, but his real passion is painting collectible figurines with gigantic heads.” A timeline of the 2023 Bobble Bubble, in newyorkerhumor.

My grandfather Jocko Bonzo emigrates from Serbia to the U.S. and starts a small popcorn business, but his real passion is painting collectible figurines with gigantic heads.Grandpa Jocko sells his “bobble-buddies” from a popcorn cart in the Bronx, and Lou Gehrig purchases one of his own likeness for $1.22. He returns to Yankee Stadium and shows his teammates Joe DiMaggio and Bob Meusel, who each buy their own bobble-buddy in order to determine which one is ugliest.

I whittle a one-of-a-kind bobblehead of Alan Greenspan as a token of my appreciation.More than thirty hedge funds take advantage of C.B.H.D.O.s to back investments in Lockheed Martin and Raytheon, which subsequently use this capital to advance foreign infrastructure, create jobs in energy, and invade Iraq.Pop the champagne! Moody’s and S. & P. quietly value our bobblehead reserve at 4.2 quadrillion USD, making us the largest sports-memorabilia company in history.

 

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