Miss Manners: Is there a gender-neutral way to get the attention of someone in the service industry?

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There seems to be no way to call out to someone whose gender is unknown. “Excuse me, person?” or “friend?” Both sound absurd.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I was in a store the other day and wanted to catch the attention of a worker who was down the aisle from me and walking away. I could not tell, from a distance, what gender the employee was, and running down the crowded aisle in order to see them face-to-face was impractical.

Before I became aware of the pain caused by misgendering people, I probably would’ve just called out, “Excuse me, sir?” Now I want to do better, but there seems to be no way to call out to someone whose gender is unknown. “Excuse me, person?” or “friend?” Both sound absurd.GENTLE READER: Just “excuse me” is fine. As these workers are in the service industry, they are already on alert that their help may be required. Miss Manners suggests you simply repeat as necessary.

 

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