MECHANICSBURG, PA—Grabbing a beer and telling other party-goers that football is not really his thing, local man Walt Madison told partygoers Sunday that he was just here for the commercials instead of admitting that he had been desperate for any human company whatsoever.
“I’m not super into sports, so it’s really more about the food and commercials for me,” said Madison, who has been crippled by a sense of endless loneliness ever since his ex-girlfriend moved out of their apartment last year. “Personally, I’m more excited about the halftime show than anything that happens on the field [and actually spending more than five minutes with a living breathing human being].
Lmfao
Being alone is divine.
Human company is for the weak.
Bro…
god damn it onion
After watching the current commercials, maybe next year is the year.
Howdyfriendz
That would be me.
I'm taking this personally
Is that Santos4Congress
mfer said he desperate
damn, onion…
Poor guy
That's what the pandemic has done to people.
Drainer_innit fuck this one cut deep
Felt this one
As my college friend said, he just goes for the chicken wings.
he just like me fr
Is....this me?!?!
When I actually saw a game on the telly I was shocked that supposedly heterosexual men were watching other men in pants so tight you could guess their religion. And don't get me started on half naked basketball ...
Get out of my head.
Don't come for the game. Come for the humanity
allahpundit 😏✔️
I'm in this picture and i don’t like it
I can't get people to leave me alone
Yikes - this one is too ruthlessly real
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
me