I Went Looking for a Man in Finance

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This is the ‘Summer of the Finance Bro,’ so writer Joanna Rothkopf set out to talk to men ‘in finance, trust fund, six-five, blue eyes’ about their dating lives.

sang, “I’m looking for a man in finance, trust fund, six-five, blue eyes.” In under a month, the parody song achieved what all meme parents hope and fear most for their creations: It had become a full-fledged cultural moment, remixed by David Guetta and getting

And then I find him: Andy, a man who fits the bill so precisely I can’t tell if I’ve momentarily become invisible. I vomit a pickup line: “I’m so sorry — what industry are you in?” The passion with which Andy and Jake want me to stop talking to them is palpable, but unfortunately for them, I don’t have any other options.

The first thing to know, the guys say, is that “finance” isn’t even what most people think it is anymore. “Everyone thinks,, but that’s just something they learn is prestigious in school,” Dennis says. Because of the earnings cap at a level like, say, managing director, he continues, “You could make way more by owning five bodegas.” They all agree that owning five bodegas is a great way of making money, though it is also a different sort of job.

When we finish our drinks, Alex buys us another round and somehow starts a conversation with two men, Ethan and Phil, both in their early 30s, about what they do: real-estate finance.finance-finance, I’m told, but kind of finance, because there are assets and brokers and equity involved.

 

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