NEW YORK—Marketing strategist Garrett Brooks, who reportedly cried himself to sleep Sunday while thinking about how much of his life he’s wasted and how he continues to contribute nothing of any value to society, has some great ideas for growing his company’s brand across multiple platforms, sources confirmed.
“If we can utilize Twitter andto integrate our brand with other established players, we stand to boost our profile in all the key demographics,” said the 33-year-old Brooks, who last night lay in bed staring at the ceiling, tears dripping down his face as he realized the thing he puts so much effort into is so vacuous and void of meaning that his younger self would be disgusted by his pursuit of an occupation that ultimately doesn’t need to exist.
Daexxt This is brutal.
is this Jared fogle
😂😥😢😢😢
😂😂😂😂 stop
Pro-tip: can’t cry if you’re shitfaced
Yes I do...
by killing the comptroller & cfo
H e l p
wtf that’s just me
Vodka is an effective palliative for existential angst.
We can't help with the crying, but Zehnecbd helps with overthinking...
Yikes.
Don Jr.?
It is never too late to change course. It may not be easy, of course.
Those guys typically have the worst of the worst browser histories
I prefer being labeled as a “post-teen.”
Is that SamSeder
RedJODonoghue
Again with the content none of us deserve.
Lol no I don't
Hey, you didn't have to call me out like that.