and author whose work focuses on healing from trauma to live our freest sexual lives, sees much of the same opportunism and commodification in the sexual wellness industry. “We’re seeing a lot of, ‘You have to buy a product in order to have the best sex of your life,’ like a $100 vibrator or CBD lube,” Whitney told Jezebel. “I’m all for having tools that can help us, inspire us, encourage us to connect to ourselves, and be curious about ourselves.
According to Whitney, a sexuality doula is someone who supports and guides “folks who are ready to step out of shame, confusion, and fear within their sexuality and want to come into authentic expression of their sexual, sensual selves—whatever that looks like for them.” Whitney’s interest in becoming a sexuality doula was sparked by her own realization that sexual traumas from her past were holding her back from experiencing pleasure and sexual freedom.
Especially for survivors, Whitney notes that real sexual wellness and fulfilled sexual lives don’t start with products, but healing from trauma you’ve experienced, either firsthand or intergenerationally. “Mental health and trauma aren’t easily solvable, because of systemic issues, the systemic oppressions we deal with on a daily basis that are constantly inflicted upon us,” she explained.
Similarly, Whitney thinks the best gifts are inviting “people to dive deeper into themselves,” and “have a purpose and meaning and intentionality behind it.” “It helps to be thoughtful when shopping, for yourself or others, of what brands are using specific words to get you to buy them, and just check in with yourself to see, like, ‘does this feel good to me?’” she said. At the end of the day, Whitney understands we’re only human. “There’s always going to be that piece of you that maybe just wants a nice bubble bath right now, so if that does feel good to you, do it.
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