Why is my company determined to have such a boring ‘mission statement’?

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These statements are sometimes referred to as “Vision and Values”. A more accurate name would be “Banality and Inanity”, or simply “About Us Page Wank”.

I volunteered to be on a subcommittee at work. Its job is to come up with a new mission statement for the organisation. I was cautiously optimistic to begin with, mainly because I love being creative, but most of my usual work is very formulaic and process-driven.Each meeting, we seem to make the statement blander. I have sent you our current wording.

They are meaningless. Or shockingly dishonest. Or so leached of substance that they may as well not exist. Collectively, this information is sometimes referred to as “Vision and Values” – V&V for short. In most instances, a more accurate name would be “Banality and Inanity”. Or simply “About Us Page Wank”.

As it’s written currently, the mission statement you’re working with sits squarely in the meaningless corporate drivel segment of the spectrum. Any attempt to make it blander would be like trying to further lighten the colour white.

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