around her theories. Because it was only by not being able to prove that she was wrong, that George could give Alice the confidence she needed to know that she was right."
Of course, there is a time and place to disagree. The middle of a meeting with investors might not be the optimal time to tell your cofounder that you think her about your forum. Consider establishing regular sit-downs where frank conversation is expected, and limit the scope and time to avoid getting off topic. Feedback should be constructive and non-emotional, without any tolerance for personal attacks.
The first two steps are to recognize our common humanity, and try to learn the story of how someone arrived at their viewpoint. "By default we tend to see a person who has different views as an opponent. And we fall into a 'debate' frame with them," Stone wrote. Instead, try thinking in terms of what's called a "dialogue frame," which emphasizes what we have in common, rather than what we don't.
The fourth step is validating the other person's experience so that they feel understood, which means not undermining or questioning whether they really feel how they say they do. That said, it's totally possible — and often necessary — to validate while pushing back against their interpretation.
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