The 30-year-old outside back, who announced his retirement last week due to a chronic knee injury, said he descended into a mental trough after missing out on New Zealand selection for the 2015 World Cup and suffering a serious injury soon after.
“I was walking down the street and I would look at people and think to myself ‘he’s looking at me going ‘you’re a pussy’ and ‘you’re so useless’. I was like, ‘nah I shouldn’t be feeling like this’.” But when later recovering from a dislocated shoulder he found solace in friends and family who helped him rediscover his love of the game.
“You can’t bottle it up and do everything on your own. It is too hard and it will weigh you down,” he said.“I’ve had moments when I’ve cried to my best mates and I’ve cried to my wife and there’s some people out there that might think I’m a pussy and weak, but I don’t care. People cry and need to share their emotions.”
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