How to parent children with mental illnesses, from someone who does it - Business Insider

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I was a child therapist. Here's how I parent children with mental illnesses — and how I had to overcome my own biases. (by _She_Writes)

, and I have a family history of anxiety and depression. The odds that one of these disorders would affect one of my children were pretty good.

For example, my son has explosive anger issues. He most definitely receives consequences for yelling, hitting, and kicking. But he also has coping tools that he's learned in therapy that we pull out when he's starting to melt down. One of his tools is snuggling our dogs. When he yells at me, I tell him to go snuggle the dogs. After he's calm, I give him his consequence.

A parent of a child without a mental illness would've been thoroughly confused. I would've spent the entire conversation explaining how my son's mental illness affects his behavior and how I'd already tried every "regular" method of controlling it. Know the symptoms of your child's illness and work with a therapist on an action plan for dealing with them

This should have worked. It would have worked, if my son had followed my instructions. Unfortunately, whenever I reminded him to take a deep breath, his anxiety would kick in and convince him that deep breaths don't work. He'd panic, insist I couldn't help him, and never even try to take a deep breath.

Many parts of the country have community organizations and hospitals that specialize in treating mental illnesses. You can. You might also want to Google "mental health community organizations near me" to find out what other resources are available in your area. For example, symptoms of depression are somewhat subjective. They can include fatigue, difficulty concentrating, social withdrawal, irritability, and sadness, among other things. A pediatrician might see those symptoms and think "depression," then prescribe an SSRI like Prozac.

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