Katie Nave is freelance writer, advocate, and nonprofit communications specialist based in Brooklyn, New York.
I understand how unrelatable this may seem. We're incredibly fortunate to have space outside of the city, to have our health, and to have jobs as creative freelancers that aren't deemed essential services, allowing us to safely work from home. I was never in a physically or emotionally abusive situation, as many have experienced during quarantine. No matter how challenging this time has been, the amount of privilege at every turn is not lost on me.
As things intensified in the city, we began discussing what it would take for us to actually leave. I was initially reluctant to say goodbye to our regular lives and my personal freedom, but eventually agreed that schlepping our daughter from one house to another during a public health crisis was far from ideal. Our parents were confused by our decision, frequently asking if this meant that we were "back together," and my friends made jokes about us eventually murdering one another.
Our couple's therapist, who had worked with us throughout our entire marriage and ultimately helped us to amicably uncouple, gave us talking points. She supported our decision to cohabitate once again and encouraged us to let our daughter know that we were making decisions to keep our family safe, while also making plenty of space for her feelings. She assured me that the anger and tantrums were normal, but I felt deeply rejected and sure our living situation was doing irreversible damage.
DebbieRHS NaveKatie I love NaveKatie's description of how you wound each other up. Death by a thousand cuts (albeit tomatoes). Good to see how you can put band-aid on some of 'em while others heal.
NaveKatie Doing the same exact thing. It's working too.
NaveKatie The same way a person gets married by saying 'I accept' The same way a divorce can happen by saying 'I divorce' In Islam. However they go through an 'iddah' waiting period (of 3 months) in which they can reconcile, or end the marriage completely.
NaveKatie She doesn't look to happy!
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