Dear Quentin, My husband lost his business many years ago, and we had to sell our house to pay off his debt. I had a part-time job then because I needed to take care of our two young children. My husband stopped bringing in any income. A few times, he gave me money, but the source was unknown.
“‘In November 2021, he suddenly decided to pursue real estate overseas. So he left me and my kids, just like that.’” Am I being heartless? Or am I doing the right thing? I need some advice and I’d really appreciate it if you can offer any.Dear Mother & Wife, The clue is in the question and, in this case, the pull quote . You’re not heartless. He left you and your kids. You don’t owe him your savings.
But here’s the rub: “Even as financial contributions have become more equal in marriages, the way couples divide their time between paid work and home life remains unbalanced,” the Pew researchers wrote in their report. “Women pick up a heavier load when it comes to household chores and caregiving responsibilities, while men spend more time on work and leisure.”
Your loyalty is to your children, their future and your retirement. You gave your husband several chances, and it’s clear that he will continue to shoot for the stars on other people’s dime, if you allow it. You did not have the luxury of taking off — leaving all of your responsibilities behind — to fulfill a dream. Nor have you leveraged your family’s future for a bright idea.