I am dying of cancer. Black-market psilocybin gave me a new lease on life. - Macleans.ca

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In 2021, Janis Hughes found out her cancer was back—and it was terminal. Desperate to find a cure for her death anxiety, Hughes turned to psilocybin, a breakthrough therapy for end-of-life distress, depression and other conditions.

In 2011, at the age of 54, I was diagnosed with stage II breast cancer. It was traumatic at first. For a few months, radiation and intravenous chemotherapy took over my life. When my scans showed no more evidence of disease, I was only too willing to put the experience behind me. Sadly, things took a turn for the worse in 2018, when a routine mammogram revealed that the cancer had returned.

I also learned that it was relatively easy to find and buy unregulated mushrooms from underground dealers—at online stores, and even at brick-and-mortar stores in some Canadian cities. Still, I was concerned enough about safety that I did not want to “journey” unaccompanied.

I was so upset about the rejection that I reached out to the media to share my experience. The coverage caught the attention of Health Canada’s chief medical adviser, who contacted me soon after. She tried to explain that their caution was in the interest of my safety. Incredulous, I said, “I’m dying. What do you think you’re saving me from?” She told me to send Health Canada a letter from one of my doctors, confirming that I’d exhausted the SAP option, which I did in April of 2022.

That June, I found myself in her kitchen, watching her weigh, grind and brew 2.8 grams of mushrooms to make a tea. This was a so-called “middle dose,” intended to see how the mushroom and I took to each other. The therapist and I climbed the stairs to a second-storey room furnished with a bed, a chair and a sound system playing calming tones and nature sounds. I donned an eye mask, laid down on the bed and started my journey.

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