In it, he writes that we often underestimate how willing people are to help us. And we often limit ourselves unnecessarily when we're turned down for the first time.
Turns out, much higher than you think. That's what psychologists discovered in a study conducted at Columbia University in New York City . Participants had to approach strangers on the street and simply ask, "Can I use your cellphone to make a call?" They couldn't elaborate on why they needed it, or invent some kind of sob story.
When the researchers asked participants to estimate how many people they would have to ask to raise the required funds, they predicted, on average, 210 people. But in reality, they had to ask only 122. And when asked how much they thought people would give, they predicted that the average donation would be $48.33 — when in fact the average donation was $63.80.
It stands to reason that when a person grants a favor once, you might be emboldened to ask for a second. But what happens when a person declines your request? Would you make a second one in the future? Most people wouldn't dare. But here, too, you would be limiting yourself unnecessarily. Researchers have found that people are likely to respond to your second request, because they feel bad that they refused you the first time.
If we perceive there to be high social costs to asking for help, does that mean that women, who often have to work harder to earn social capital in the workplace and in society generally, are more reluctant than men to ask for help? The answer is complicated, as various studies have discovered. It depends on what is being asked for, the gender composition of the group, the nature of the task or work, and more.
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