“If I am awake, I am working”: A bakery owner on the unrelenting stress of running a small business and parenting in a never-ending pandemic

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'The food industry has always been hand to mouth, but this is next level. I’m coming up with new menu items—a new cookie, or a curry beef bun—just to make an extra $40 a week':

“I’d wake up every morning in a cold sweat”: Why restaurateur Ed Ho left the industry to go back to school

My parents bought their first house in the ’burbs about 10 years ago, but the business stayed on Bloor. Then, in 2017, my wife and I had our daughter Róisín. We needed childcare, and at the same time, my parents wanted to work less and spend time with their grandchild, so I took over my dad’s workspace. I’d been working in kitchens for years at that point—Cumbrae’s, Parts & Labour, Mattachioni, Robinson Bread—and it felt like the right time to go out on my own.

I opened in July of 2020. First, I was selling 20 loaves a day, then 30, then 40. I added demi baguettes, pan loaves, cookies and butter tarts. Every day, I would sell whatever I could make. My MPP, Jessica Bell, gave me a shout-out on Twitter, and people started talking about my shop in the neighbourhood Facebook groups. Demand has never been an issue. But I’m working in a kitchen that was designed for a restaurant, not a commercial bakery.

And it’s not just me I’m worried about. I brought in one full-time staffer last spring and another part-timer. It’s great to have the help and to have a couple of other humans that I see on a regular basis. But I worry about being able to provide for them, for their families, to make sure they can pay rent. Sometimes I think about what it would be like if I’d never started my own business. It’s tempting, but then I think about why I wanted to do this.

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