JOSH HANER/The New York Times
I started [this project] in earnest three years ago and so much has changed since then. Hell, so much has changed since May when this book was supposed to come out. I’m just trying to keep up with the changes. [Writing] isn’t easy. In some ways it was therapeutic, and in some ways, it was extremely painful. It has become more evident to me that I seek out mental pain for a variety of reasons. I seek it because it’s never let me down. It drives me.
I’m at war with myself all the time, which is good and bad. One of the things that drove me to work so hard is that I never wanted to squander my opportunities. I’m at a place now where I’m asking myself have I done more good than bad? Have I added more value than not? It’s one of things I’m working with my psychiatrist on. If I asked people they’d say, “You [screwed] up Dave, but you’ve done more good than bad.” My mind says I’ve done more bad than good.