CASTELNAUD-LA-CHAPELLE, FRANCE—Noting a sharp decline in demand over the past five centuries, a new economic report released Friday revealed that the catapult industry would not survive another year unless a medieval war broke out sometime in the next 12 months.
“Times have not been kind to catapult manufacturers, as trebuchets sit unused in warehouses collecting dust, with most companies lucky to move one or two units every 500 years or so. Not to mention, catapults take forever to make. At one point, when the market was good, these companies had multi-decade contracts rolling in left and right from the French and British monarchies, and it seemed like every week or so a visigoth would lay siege upon some new territory that required defending.
The obvious downside of Sauron getting his ass kicked by '2 small boi's and their pet frog'.
Combined with the shortage of navigation chips and we’re looking at Romans-Macedonians II
Don’t worry the government will bail them out, don’t you know that catapults are integral to society?
Raytheon: hold our mead
Now that has deep meaning
The trebuchet is the superior siege weapon anyway
This pandemic has had some really tough side effects 😔
Good. Trebuchets are better and if catapults can't adapt to the changing siege engine market, they should be allowed to die out.
Serfs in every province being kept in a constant battle frenzy by their lords' oft repeatings of what the bordering countries are saying about their mamas.
I thought I saw two at the Jan 6 capital siege, launching orange rocks with wigs on them?
Jennifer in Sales thinks the company should pivot to guillotines.
tomwiener
good. Fuck catapults, i will stick with my trebuchet thank you 🙌🙏
Of course they can't survive if they don't go with the times! Look at those, they are so outdated! Now if they were made with modern materials like stainless steel or carbon fiber, things would be totally different!
Really need a statement from castle builders to have a complete stance on this subject.
Think of all the jobs we'll lose
There's always tossing pumpkins
Don't support Big Catapult, Trebuchets are the superior siege weapon. How else are you going to launch a 90kg projectile over 300m?
You can tell it’s satire because they use the terms catapult and trebuchet interchangeably.
They can fire bags of copper pennies.
AllenAC009 We will call it Monty Python's War.
This is quite deep for an Onion headline. One of my new favorites!
This is incorrect. We have watermelons and pumpkins. Let's go!
This is just fear mongering. They used to say this about those of us who simply toss huge stones at people without mechanical aid.
Need the Midwest to start chucking farm fair squash across county lines more
*tags StratCom*
Joe Biden killing another industry with historic ties to America
Another case of the corrupt Medieval Industrial Complex trying to start wars for profit.
Give it a shot.
zillow down 25% on the fail flipping of keeps
Bail it out!
AgeOfEmpires are saving this whole industry by themselves
This explains why moat sales have cratered
SLIM1N
shiba SHIBARMY shibainu buythedip shibainu shibainu ShibaSwap
Better check your cows!
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