Cover Letter Specifically Tailored To Company Even Sadder Than Generic Ones

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BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their…

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.

“Oh God, listen to this: ‘The company’s mission of optimizing multi-platform engagement through strategic and creative brand-centric marketing solutions really resonates with me’—boy, this poor guy really did some research,” said senior account executive Melanie Bittle while shaking her head in pity for the job candidate, whose proclaimed admiration for the firm’s 2014Agency Of The Year award made his application significantly more depressing than any of the vaguely worded and nondescript ones...

 

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And at that moment the company realized it had achieved nothing of value so far, and… continued to keep its ambiguous standards.

You should see the specially tailored rejection letters

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