Starbucks CEO Clearly Just Coming To Company Headquarters To Use Bathroom

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SEATTLE—Calling his motivations “beyond transparent,” sources at Starbucks headquarters confirmed Wednesday that CEO Howard Schultz was clearly only coming into the building to use the bathroom. “He clogged the toilet, stuffed some sugar packets into his pockets, and left,” said 27-year-old Starbucks project manager…

SEATTLE—Calling his motivations “beyond transparent,” sources at Starbucks headquarters confirmed Wednesday that CEO Howard Schultz was clearly only coming into the building to use the bathroom.

“He clogged the toilet, stuffed some sugar packets into his pockets, and left,” said 27-year-old Starbucks project manager Alison Whitlock, who estimated that Schultz came into the Starbucks office approximately three to four times a week just to lock himself in the bathroom for 10 minutes and leave a terrible mess. “He took a minute to hover near the front, pretending to read a couple of documents, but his eyes were darting toward the bathroom door the whole time. It’s so annoying.

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a tall order

DJohnson_97 But he also leaves a couple of Washingtons in the tip mug at reception so…

It’s because he had the coffee.

Used to work for a restaurant where the owner (who owned the place because he served five years in prison for something the previous owner had done) would come in every couple months, work the line for about an hour, cut himself a check for a few thousand dollars, then leave.

🤣

Get his ass

Former CEO…

JortsTheCat

Ha!

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