‘Could You Please Stop Looking At Furry Porn On Company Computers?’ Asks Orwellian IT Guy Striking Latest Blow For Surveillance State

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 19 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 11%
  • Publisher: 51%

Malaysia News News

Malaysia Malaysia Latest News,Malaysia Malaysia Headlines

NEW YORK—In a brazen display of authoritarianism that would no doubt terrify privacy advocates worldwide, Orwellian IT professional Kevin Wu reportedly asked Thursday if employee Andrew Miles could stop looking at furry pornography on his Geneva Solutions company computer, thereby striking the latest blow for…

NEW YORK—In a brazen display of authoritarianism that would no doubt terrify privacy advocates worldwide, Orwellian IT professional Kevin Wu reportedly asked Thursday if employee Andrew Miles could stop looking at furry pornography on his Geneva Solutions company computer, thereby striking the latest blow for the surveillance state.

terabytes of something called rooting yiff? Normally, I wouldn’t get involved in something like this, but this is your work computer, so just please be respectful in the future.” At press time, the human embodiment of doublespeak had continued advancing his chilling agenda by asking if Miles could at least wear headphones if he’s watching this stuff in the office.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in MY
 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Hell no.

No. I am true fur.

[...] 'the dystopian reality in which a man cannot use company wifi to simply browse through thousands of pornographic depictions of anthropomorphized tigers, zebras, and deer blowing and railing one another'[...] 😂 I wouldn't want to live in a reality like that.

No

So, they only want you to look at regular naked porn?

No.

ShepDanellos sorry no, it's just there

I maintain the entire infrastructure, I will tear it down if I do not get my Daily Dose of FA.

No.

It’s insane

No. If you can look at sports highlights and stats, automotive performance specs, stock tickers, whatever that HOA/school drama is, some weird outfits for your pet, or that biased news source, then furries can look at furry porn. It's only fair. 😁

MAN IN PHOTO: 'Oh Well, I Suppose It's Time That I Got A Government Job ... Then It's Furry Porn All Day Long!!!'

ThatAwfulLizard You mean the ONLY IT guy who's not a furry?

Technically speaking, looking at Furry porn on company computers is my business ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

No worries. That Orwellian IT guy's manager is the Lead Sys Admin *and* a furry, so any web filtering will be overturned. ;)

No

KorpsPropaganda I could but i won't

this is why they're trying to make VPNs illegal 😔

That's a red flag, that IT person is probably fake. Real IT people always look at furry porn on company computers.

First IT blocked the foot fetish sites, I did not speak for I don't like feet. Then IT blocked the watersports sites, I did not speak for I don't like waterworks. Then IT blocked the furry sites, and there was no one left to speak for me.

We are infinite. We are all.

You know this is satire because the IT guy isn't a furry.

No.

Boss makes a dollar i make a dime

DogpatchPress

How fake! An IT person not knowing what furry porn is?

We must unionise to get free furry porn for all.

literally 1984

orwell was right

'No' Responds Every American In Unison

have not seen. What is it about?

SO TRUE

Malaysia Malaysia Latest News, Malaysia Malaysia Headlines