‘We market ourselves on dating apps, surely we can sell our own houses’

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No estate agent? No estate agent fee . . . with the current challenging landscape for selling a flat, one frustrated homeowner took matters into his own hands

Pity the word “stunning”: battered beyond recognition in property listings copy. Likewise “luxury”: misappropriated as a synonym for bling. Clichéd sales listings weren’t the only reason I — a writer and editor — decided to circumvent agents and DIY the recent sale of my London flat, but they certainly helped. True, I have a sensitivity towards language, but I can’t be the only one who scours Rightmove perturbed by the hackneyed descriptions. It actively puts me off buying a property.

A crucial ingredient here is a tripod, not only to avoid blur but also to allow for long exposures that minimise the need for harsh flash. When it comes to the subject, property photography invariably avoids “clutter” — namely, reminders of you. Not only are people, in a weird, Stalinesque manner, airbrushed out of real estate pictures, but you are supposed to exclude anything that will interrupt someone fantasising about occupying the property instead of its current inhabitant.

 

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