CEO Likes To Think Of Company As One Big Manson Family

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NEW YORK—Expressing his affection for the close-knit community he’d helped foster, CEO Tony Vanders of regional communications Vandcorp Media told reporters Tuesday that he has always thought of his company as one big Manson family. “I know it’s something of a cliché, but I honestly consider my employees to be close, tightly knit, utterly devoted cadre of loyal followers who take my every word as absolute authority,” said the executive, claiming the bonds he shared with his workers weren’t unlike those of a fanatical commune of brainwashed zealots. “We’ve got all the typical Manson Family dynamics. I’m the paternal figure who keeps his subordinates in a stupor of exhaustion and confusion in order to make them particularly malleable to his twisted whims. Alice Fendelman is our parallel to Squeaky Fromme, who uses the pretense of taking care of the family members to ensure no one acts against the family interests—naturally, she’s our HR director. As for the rest, I have no doubt they’d kill for me if asked, seeing as I stripped them of their individual humanity long ago.” Vanders added that he originally started his company to punish his underlings and the world at large for his lack of artistic success.\n

NEW YORK—Expressing his affection for the close-knit community he’d helped foster, CEO Tony Vanders of regional communications Vandcorp Media told reporters Tuesday that he has always thought of his company as one big Manson family.

I’m the paternal figure who keeps his subordinates in a stupor of exhaustion and confusion in order to make them particularly malleable to his twisted whims. Alice Fendelman is our parallel to Squeaky Fromme, who uses the pretense of taking care of the family members to ensure no one acts against the family interests—naturally, she’s our HR director. As for the rest, I have no doubt they’d kill for me if asked, seeing as I stripped them of their individual humanity long ago.

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Ahhhhhhh

'Remember me Eddy? When I killed your brother? I talked just...like THIIIISSS!!!' I'm going to be the only one who gets this reference.

That photograph is going to haunt my dreams...

karlofkarl His eyes. 😳

That’s my new wallpaper that’s fucking hilarious

It's war now! All eyes on me

Isn’t that what every Big Corporation bases their core values on ?

Why do all the people in charge of every company actually look like that though?

Really nice editing of the dead eyes. I’d like to learn how to do that in photoshop

Yeah he sure as hell looks exactly like he would think that way

5% of the mankind are psychos. 50% of them are murderer and the other 50% are CEO’s

Those eyes.

Parasite (2019)

Psycho

That is one Creepy looking fucker

This is quality stuff.

Separated at birth?

Elon musk has less hair, but that's him alright

it should be forbidden to make such an apology in public. in fact, he has the same squint as the original killer

one of these guys tattooed a swastika on his forehead, the other one is Chuckles Manson 😷

He's thinking inside the pine box.

His eyes are scary, but I can't seem to look away!

That’s a wax figur...... has to be

Did he have an eye transplant from Manson?

Dad?

Is this really a robot? 🤣

Headquartered in the Uncanny Valley

It's the eyes.

SPINE DITTTCHHH

Oh my god that face is terrifying

melnickjeffrey1

Omg 😳 🤣

You lookin at me? You lookin at - - - - Uhoh

Why does he somehow look like both an old man AND a young woman?

Holy shit

Is that a picture of Pharma Bro Martin Shkreil using a photo aging app?

Uuuuuuhhhhhhh

yogthos except in reality the CEO would be 30 years younger and wearing a tshirt

This is great. But you mis-spelled the name of the company I just quit. And the part about the CEO leaving intimidating messages on your voicemail. 'I don't feel like you're all in'.

why do his eyes look like a bad video game rendering.

Same energy

I worked for a similar company!

RebeuSoinn

Usually the headline carries the bit - it's the photo here.

Let me guess, is that Judge Doom's brother?

Haha whatever subtle edit to his eyes you did there is good.

This guy looks AI generated

Jesus christ

This is so so disturbing. The image

CEO = cross eyed ostrich

Ok, but what kind of healthcare are they offering?

When will the CEOs solo album with unintelligible lyrics come out?

Scared me!

Why is this image so disturbing?

This guy has one eye looking to Jesus and one eye looking for rattlesnakes.

the man... he puts fear in me

Oh my beloved Onion...what happened?

His eyes.

Unfree thinkers.

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