Where then, are the parents in these narratives? Do parents have no influence? Absolutely not. In most cases, the parents were the orchestrators of these defining experiences. But it was not the direct conversations, the teaching, or even the examples that parents set that were most influential; instead, it was the role of the parents in providing experiences as learning opportunities.
Not all experiences will lead to this kind of transformative learning, and some experiences can cause more harm than good. How then, can parents approach this process of providing learning experiences for the next generation that will promote competence and resilience? In 1989, developmental psychologist Emmy Werner completed awhere she studied 698 children from birth to age 40.
Combining what I learned from my student interviews about the importance of experience with these findings about locus of control, parents wishing to instill resilience in the next generation should focus on providing learning experiences that develop an internal locus of control. This will require helping next generation members to understand that they can influence their own outcomes. Here’s how:The world that we live in is unpredictable and is becoming even more so.
As parents, we often feel that what we say or what we do will most impact what our children believe and how they behave. My research indicates instead that it is the experiences that parents provide the next generation that truly influence who they are.
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