EPA Shuts Down Local Ghost-Entrapment Business

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NEW YORK—Citing unsafe practices and potential toxic contamination, the Environmental Protection Agency shut down a small ghost- entrapment operation in downtown Manhattan today, and had four of the business' spectral-containment specialists arrested in the process.

According to EPA agent Walter Peck, employees of the company—located in an old fire station in the Tribeca neighborhood of New York—had repeatedly refused to grant him access to their storage facility, which posed a health hazard to the surrounding community."The facility in question unlawfully used public utilities for the purpose of non-sanctioned waste-handling, and was in direct violation of the Environmental Protection Act," Peck said.

Despite being a relatively new discipline, specter reclamation, more popularly referred to as "phantom-busting," has enjoyed enormous success in recent weeks due to a massive increase in paranormal phenomena in the New York area. While it is not known exactly what has caused the spike, some believe it may be related to an Upper West Side apartment building around which several witnesses have reported electromagnetic interference and dense, swirling cloud patterns.

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JayBauman1 redlettermedia

Walter Peck is no in a loony bin and will not be attending any meetings or events for his involvement in causing public destruction and unsafe welfare of workers under his role. The City of New York wishes to remind everyone that The Ghostbusters are hero's to the City

Well at least the flowers are still standing..

RSeidel_NBCT

leannefaith308 Who you gonna call? Phantom busters! Well not anymore...

I read the city reclaimed it as a fire station!

Got a friend who is an actual 👻hunter. He burns sage in his apartment after every investigation to prevent 👻 from coming back with him. Purifies the air he says.

They're flim-flam artists!

It’s always the same. The Man stepping on the little guy.

Classic Onion

So ridiculous. Now who are we gonna call?

VikingGuitar lol I definitely thought this was going to take the angle the the EPA did the right thing

Damn

ChrisLockey

Whoa! That’s a high voltage laser containment system. Simply turning it off would be like dropping a bomb on the city!

While it might not be a popular opinion, and it breaks my heart to see small businesses shut down by regulation, the fact of the matter is that they should have followed the proper channels and obtained a license to deal with that volume of boos commercially.

👻🚌💦 The Conjuring (😂😂)

Stupid EPA! Now who we gonna call {{{This number is no longer in service}}}

I heard those so-called ghostbusters antics were somehow the cause of recent ghost sightings. Scandalous if true.

I guess the business should've been more transparent.

It's hilarious how that movie makes the EPA look like assholes just for being concerned about an unliscensed nuclear reactor in the middle of a densely populated city.

absrdNEWS Who you gonna call?

But now who’m I gonna call?

Well now I know who I’m not going to call.

'Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.'

Not surprised. Walter Peck was never going to let Peter Venkman's dickless joke go.

fuckin' trump administration... and i thought republicans were pro-small business.

now who we gonna call?

Now who you gonna call

Oh No! Now who are we gonna call?

wasn't that seriously the plot of the sequel?

I heard that Walter Peck guy has no dick

What about the Twinkie?

I recall this guy not being too please about the news

Thank you for your service, Walter Peck.

bennetgrill ccrsn 👻👀

Your stuff is so weak these days. All boomers on staff?

Bastards! This'll cost them when those trapped ghosts escape and cause havoc in the city! Then who you gonna call? That's right - Ghostbusters!

About time! The toxic nightmare has ended!

Republicans :/

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