Valerie H. Tocci is a partner at Stutman, Stutman, & Lichtenstein, LLP. She represents individuals and families in all aspects of matrimonial and family law, including divorce, custody, spousal and child support, equitable distribution of property, pre-nuptial, post-nuptial, and divorce agreements, post-judgment matters, hearings, and trials.
If you're considering divorce, reach out to an attorney and get as much information as possible. The more they know, the less stressful the process will be.Matrimonial attorneys across the nation have prepared for this January, when divorce filings peak. Unofficially dubbed "divorce month" in legal circles nationwide, there's a variety of reasons why couples have historically chosen to separate after the holidays — and a number of ways for clients to cope.
Other troubled marriages may see the holidays as a time to patch things up, with hopes that things will improve. People often raise their expectations during the holidays, despite past troubles in their relationship. Coupled with an expectation for positive change at the new year, many couples attempt to stick it out through the holidays.
So before making an appointment with an attorney in January, there are a few things couples should consider. First of all, it's not uncommon for couples considering separation to simply be victims of holiday stress. Take some time to reflect upon your relationship and determine if it is really worth salvaging. If both partners agree it's time to move on, it's typically in everyone's best interest to proceed with commencing the divorce process.
When clients decide to begin the divorce process, we advise that they should explore therapy as early as possible. There is no longer a stigma attached, and you cannot afford to neglect your feelings — negative emotions and hurt feelings can cloud judgment. Therapy can help you prioritize your thoughts, providing you with a trustworthy third party while separating knee-jerk emotional reactions from what's best for you, your children, and your future.
Practice self-care instead. Make sure you're eating right, exercising, and taking time for your own recreation. Twenty minutes of exercise a day goes a long way in helping clients cope by lowering anxiety and stress and helps to deter depression and negative emotions.
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