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Man Confidently Hits ‘Send’ On Worst Job Application Company Has Ever Seen

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SAN FRANCISCO—After a quick yet confident once-over that unfortunately caught none of the rampant spelling errors, clunky prose, and overly casual language throughout his cover letter and résumé, job hopeful Mark Lopez hit “send” on the worst application California-based marketing firm Precision Intermedia has ever seen, sources confirmed Monday. “Okay, this looks ready to go,” Lopez said, seconds before sending an email that will inevitably be forwarded to an estimated 200 Precision Intermedia employees, all of whom will laugh heartily at his address to the wrong company, his claim of being “detail-orinted,” and the line “[INSERT EXTRACURRICULARS]” that he forgot to delete from the résumé template he used. “And…sent.” At press time, Precision Intermedia office manager Theresa Clark had announced to her colleagues that “this one’s going up on the bulletin board.”

 

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Onion why did you write about me

vander_iam I feel attacked

I hope he sent it to the OLD 🌎 🧀 SHOP!!!

I feel like this every time I send one.

Nailed it!

Stay on unemployment as long as possible.

Eh, companies constantly hit “publish” on pretty horrifying job descriptions, and job application sites.

I feel attacked!

ksleezy

He looks so hopeful. Sigh.

“Profishent in microsoft X-Sell”

Its funny because companies don't read online applications!!! Right?

Post the resume...

That is something I have a lot of experience with :(

I'm in this picture and I don't like it

This one makes me incredibly sad

I can't remember where have I seen this before...🤔

'15 years experience as Full-time manager of kitchen, monitor the hand washing of dishes, and dry them when Mom hands them to me'

Dear Mark, [INSERT RESPONSE] Thank you.

Love to bake bread So ovensly Neading a k of flower with dear mug of diary some droplets from a happy bird shape the food into a third

Any chance is still better than no chance.

FB_FilmAnalysis

They probably pay shit and have no benefits, a shitty schedule and a terrible work environment so they shouldn't be one to talk. Let's all settle for each other.

Sadly, he also sent a copy to the White House, and he's now heading the Coronavirus Task Force.

I feel attacked. I applied for a job the other day and I got a rejection email in 5 minutes.

You were confident and then got hit in the face with a watermelon.

Stop 😭

Dear leader applying for second term.

Tollison_Leigh

You said this interview was off the record. I OPENED UP TO YOU AND THIS IS THE THANKS I GET!

CallyElkin

This was me applying to NASA

Companies should not be the ones to talk. We have to press send to thousands of the worst job offers ever seen

I resemble this remark

Hey, that's me!

'You miss 100% of the shots you don't take. -- Wayne Gretzky' -- Michael Scott.

Personal Interests and Hobbies: Yes.

He’s cute and likely has low self-esteem now. He single? thirsty

Too real

It only happened to me twice Onion. Please don’t ridicule me

Same

irony a misjudgment of times-to-be, thugnant presence doubles patience present in the present. donaldglover Lyrical hesitance: :)

Looks so proud of himself.

Been there, done that

Worth a shot lol

Me af

That took guts we need guts your hiered

Lol...

Cutting a little too close to the bone, .

He'll get it. He has a penis.

so me right now.

This is how I felt when I applied to graduate school

JeremyTBerry, is it me or does that guy look like you?

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