Report Finds More Americans Putting Off Children Until Companies Are Ready

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WASHINGTON—According to a study released Tuesday that examines the changing demographics of first-time parents in America, researchers at the Pew Research Center found that more young adults are delaying having children until the companies that employ them are fully prepared. “Raising a child nowadays requires parents’ employers to sacrifice a tremendous amount of time and resources, which is why more couples than ever are postponing parenthood until they are absolutely sure that their places of work feel completely secure with the decision,” lead researcher Dr. Emmett Bitton said of the study’s findings, which noted that 50 percent of married individuals choose to wait five years or more after getting hired at a company before sitting down with their supervisor and discussing whether it’s the right time to seek maternity leave or whether their workplace can even afford to let them leave for doctors’ appointments. “The truth is that a lot of these companies are overwhelmed by the thought of employees’ children, and many are wary of the financial burden of having workers who have kids, especially when such employees are already working late many nights a week. For them, it just makes sense to postpone their staff members’ pregnancies as long as possible.” The study found, however, that most companies are eventually able to reach an acceptable arrangement for employee reproduction by offering personnel zero money or resources for the duration of their leave.

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Millennials are waiting for the government to insure 12 months of maternity leave - for both parents - and a 24x7 nanny to raise their kids while they go about their lives.

This is the plot of the Outer Worlds

Grownups don’t need parental leave. They support themselves via a spouse’s income and savings. Grow up, kiddos, and pay your own bills.

Times are funny.

Well... the USA doesn’t guarantee maternity leave. You’re dependent on your employer if they provide it. So in a way... yeah!

Yeah, I'll order mine from Amazon!

mommaleeleej ha

“Labeled satire”

Godm damn I basically live every work-related Onion article. Can't wait for tomorrow's Halloween one which is literally going to apply to my job

Stick to sports

Fck kids. They eat too much. Need $ for more apps.

Always the best social commentary!

You act like this is satire.

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