In Christianity’s Book of Revelations, the four horsemen of the apocalypse — disease, famine, war and death — are the traditional harbingers of the end of times. In relationships, there are also four horsemen which signal impending catastrophe, according toIn this case, the four horsemen are: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling.
The converse is as true: solely focussing on the relationships can let the bottom line sink without trace. Sure — it’s the leader that gets blamed and sometimes rightly so. Leaders must accept that in good grace. But in reality, leadership teams are experienced adults — and shouldn’t and mustn’t evade their own accountabilities by projecting blame onto a single leader, in a parent-child scenario.
The key is how we manage these tensions. Some of the stressors that lead to conflict can be healthy — and incredibly rewarding, they can inspire people; from professional athletes to astronauts, brain surgeons and even politicians to go higher, to go faster, to take risks to achieve things that might have been considered impossible beforehand.
The only way of stopping this is for the CEO or the chair to get the parties to take a step back, gain perspective and properly, actively listen to the complaint, and if it is justified, act on it; if it isn’t, call it out and let it be clear whose accountability that actually is.
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