Friends as family: How the company we keep can change our lives

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Three writers investigate the devaluation of friendship in modern society, and explore how expanding our definition and experience of this crucial rel

ationship can enrich our lives and strengthen our sense of connection and community.

Moore’s book was released in 2018 and charts her attempts to forge the friendships she craves – but the more complex questions she asks, of why society prioritises romantic relationships over friendships and whether better frameworks for relationships and community are possible, have become even more prescient in the past few years. Sociologists have

When individuals don’t have fulfilling friendships, it can put pressure on their romantic partner to be their everything: lover, friend, family, co-parent, therapist. Rising divorce rates would suggest that this strategy isn’t working. In, relationship expert Esther Perel writes that “today, we turn to one person to provide what an entire village once did: a sense of grounding, meaning, and continuity.

son. Having four adults available not only benefits M’s son, who now has meaningful relationships with Barb became platonic life partners, vacationing and co-parenting together. Their relationship is not recognised as existing on the same level as a marriage – legal rights, custody or financial benefits that spouses would share are not available to Barb and Inez, showing how much society focuses on sexual and romantic love. But despite society not acknowledging the

concept of Ubuntu. He said, ‘It is to say, my humanity is caught up, is inextricably bound up, in yours. We belong in a bundle of life. It is not I think therefore I am. It says rather: I am human because I belong, I participate, and I share.’”

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