Boss Wants Friendly, Relaxed Company Culture In Place By Friday

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 21 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 12%
  • Publisher: 51%

United States News News

United States United States Latest News,United States United States Headlines

SAN MATEO, CA—Warning of severe consequences if he didn’t see results, Pantheon Digital Consulting COO Daniel Abelson, 59, told employees Monday he wants a relaxed, friendly company culture implemented by the end of the week, sources within the organization confirmed. “I don’t care how you make this a laid-back, fun…

SAN MATEO, CA—Warning of severe consequences if he didn’t see results, Pantheon Digital Consulting COO Daniel Abelson, 59, told employees Monday he wants a relaxed, friendly company culture implemented by the end of the week, sources within the organization confirmed.

“I don’t care how you make this a laid-back, fun place to work, just get it done, and get it done fast,” Abelson said during a meeting of the company’s various department heads, which is said to have begun with Abelson harshly reprimanding a client service manager for arriving five minutes late. “If we have to stay late every night this week figuring this thing out, then that’s what we’re going to do.

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in US
 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Regardless of deadline, it can be really forceful regardless.

'We need to be talking about all the great things I'll never give you by next Friday.'

XD

...or else.

sure thing..boss

Or heads are going to roll!

And if you can't achieve that, it would be great if you could come in on Saturday...

'I demand happy', he was quoted as saying in an earlier email. l

Carlo ancellotti

Well he ain't gonna get it.

And gone by next Tuesday.

Sign seen on their break room wall. 'THE BEATINGS WILL CONTINUE UNTIL MORALE IMPROVES!'

Or else

2016 article. I wonder how it turned out.

This guy probably wants advance notice of all unplanned outages

Anyone not friendly and relaxed, spends a night in the box.

Years ago, I worked at a company in which the management decided their was a company culture problem. They decided to institute a wooden nickel program in which employees were to give said nickels to someone who went out of their way to be helpful. 🙄

Yeah! Pizza party!

competitively cooperate to meet team goals for which 1 person will take all the create for...

Sure we just announced more layoffs, but just think of the shareholder value we’re creating!

😂 reminds me of the old saying “The beatings will continue until morale improves.”

On minimum wage.

holland_cg

easy: bear in every cabana.

Need marijuana meetings

Once attended a meeting at 5pm on a Friday to discuss low staff morale.

'The beatings will continue until the morale improves'

omg

I always remember this great line from work: 'Who's bloody responsible for this blame free culture'

haha

brentgentry73

This is what HR people deal with.

For goodness sake don’t work all night, just have it ready my the morning.

me

Anyone not friendly and relaxed, spends a night in the box.

What would work: Increase everyone's salary, get a health insurance that actually covers medical expenses, institute a four day workweek. What he does: Casual Fridays and (2 day-old) donuts in the breakroom

How did you get access to my work email?

Captain Kangaroo, CEO.

I think you mean “Aloha Friday”…

Now, that's fake news

Hello, I’d like to order one friendly, relaxed company culture please and thank you

_screenshoter

Let's circle back on this next week.

United States United States Latest News, United States United States Headlines