Hear Ye! Hear Ye! I’m Leaving the Industry

  • 📰 NewYorker
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 25 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 13%
  • Publisher: 67%

United States News News

United States United States Latest News,United States United States Headlines

Johnathan Appel humorously writes about a town crier who has hit a dead end with his job and dreams of new professional fulfillment.

HEAR YE! HEAR YE! My town-crying career is going nowhere and I’m leaving the industry. I ran into Bertram the other day and found out that he’s town-crying in Canterbury now. Canterbury! From the Tales! Bertram started town-crying at the same time as me, and I’m still here in Skunthorpe. Sure, I know that before you get your big break, you have to put up with shit for a while. Literally—because the audience will throw shit at you if they don’t like you.

I’ve been town-crying for a decade and I’m piss poor at it. By which I mean the only thing I technically own is one chamber pot. And that keeps attracting the feral dogs. I should quit and become a cobbler, like my dad always wanted. Every time I would talk about my dreams, he would cough up blood. Though that was anytime I would talk about anything. He used to live in Lake Ass. At least I’m trying to do something different with the form. I’m an observational town crier. I’m not a hack.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.
We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 90. in US

United States United States Latest News, United States United States Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

World’s hottest pop star hints at leaving music industry over ‘dangerous’ side of fameThe rising pop star was recently crowned 'best new artist' at the MTV Video Music Awards.
Source: njdotcom - 🏆 282. / 63 Read more »

The NBA’s most famous newsbreaker is leaving the industry for another jobESPN's Adrian Wojnarowski announced his own massive career news on Wednesday morning.
Source: clevelanddotcom - 🏆 301. / 63 Read more »

Joel Kim Booster Hopes People Write Fan Fiction About His Naked ‘Industry’ Sauna SceneThe comedian and ‘Loot’ star on bearing it all on HBO’s buzzy drama: “One of the hardest things to do is look hot naked while sitting.”
Source: VanityFair - 🏆 391. / 55 Read more »