With Buster Poindexter as the musical accompaniment.
Something drastically needs done even if chemically or genetically engineered atmosphere around the West as long as it's made w/components that are safe for the environment & will recycle naturally back into the atmosphere/ ozone layer. This concept may seem geeky but I'm serious
Meet the company that’s disrupting nature
Yeah, all you need is oxygen and you're all set! 🤣🤣🤣
Okay. That one wasn't bad. Who'd you still it from? TheOnionSucks
So close to the truth
'Zuckerberg's prototype for 'Fire Trump' app goes up in flames.'
I smell vaporware. .
A growth model to emulate
So, was it a boy or a girl?
💀💀💀
This is is hilarious and also already happened 8 years ago...
I laughed
TheFireTracker2 DeleteFacebook
the onion is amazing
Hahaha lol 😂 this is an all-timer.. had to zoom in on pic to make sure. 😂
Lol 🤣😂😂
Lol, dude in this thread blocked me for saying I’d love to see Zuckerberg trying to have a convo with a raging wildfire. Hi, I live in California, the weather right now is currently toxic smoke clouds. I don’t give a f—k if you’re upset about fire related jokes.
Result of Elon Musk having a really strong curry at Jack's house.
They should make an app for that.
Of course Zuckerberg would be attracted to the fire. Lizards are cold blooded after all.
people have died in these wildfires, it's not funny
🤣🤣
Hahaha. This is golden.
What every news station will look like in the near future.🤣
Fun at the office🤣
Clileywes
lal.
I see that you're burning a lot of cash. How are you going to fix that?
The real reason the Kincade fire was growing fast and moving south towards the bay was because it was late for a meeting
Taw_EM
So, what’s hot?
And PG&E for disrupting the power supply industry?
Thanks theonion for your prompt roomful of flames.
gsurya haha
The best.
A burning hot opportunity!
Yo your concept is fire, guys
NoahAShaul Are we sure this isn't that meeting with Zuckerberg and Trumpster fire?
'we really like how you move fast and break stuff' 'exactly, fail forward fast' 'plus, we believe fire wants to be free'
Stupid.
Lol okay
monteiro This is fine.
Now. *THIS* is comedy!
Must be a meeting taking place in Brazil
famousandyhall
Move fast and burn things
They want to acquire the fire
The reason why so rapid is because methane gas is spouting out from ground cracks and burning like this. People may be able to prevent firing by covered ground with concrete completely.
We like your energy and we'd like to harness it for clicks.
That’s just wrong 😂
tmrchrdsn
Within days of the meeting, Google's algorithm started to push more positive wildfire stories up the search results, Facebook removed all fake news relating to the wildfire, and Twitter started to remove anti-wildfire accounts.
RoyPushkin
Let's hear it out.
They also found it refreshing that it causes an actual sensation in the body, rather than just being numbers on a screen.
So, where do you see yourself in the next 5 years?
mystic_medusa By the way mystic_medusa the Belgian entire electrical feed decided to pick this week to update its network! Can’t explain the change in the usually fine running country , couldn’t buy train tickets, trains changed to other train stations other than central and the airport
TESLAcharts Oh wow this is good
AlexElsea Nothing like having a trailblazer on the team !
jessesingal 'It's truly disrupting the buildings and structures industry.'
TESLAcharts FElon musk where are you
Literal monthly burn
chgunderman
jlmcgilly
When will you start charging? are you rolling our the business model to all users or a/b testing different business models within fenced-in user groups in order to de-risk the decision?
Company mission: light up the world!
_mantis_ h3h3productions
'Hey! I brought us pizzas for the mee.......ting'
Scales well..
mlse Wildfire: Biggest Disruptor In The Valley?
AnandWrites Right?
shakirhusain Greed knows no bounds.
shaig
I hear the founders also sparked Tinder.
The Samwer brothers (Rocket internet) will love it, because this business model can easily be cloned to other countries.🔥
Sounds like a hot stock!
stuartsierra fully featured observability!
This stock is hotter than Tinder.
Clearly no one's been vacuuming the forest floor.
The company will be called WeBurn
So that's the real reason they're planting 10 million trees!
sirkickbuns23 ItsTacosDude
Jesus Christ this is good
Woof. Too early.
SamDiFabbio 😂
Is it too soon to be thinking about an exit strategy?
I can't tell the difference, they both consume everything in sight leaving nothing but ash and startups
PresidentLebo 😆😂
UniquelyGillian Cc wokyleeks
I don’t see this scaling to other parts of the country, so for that reason I’m out SharkTank
TbobSmith
We need tens of billions here also please SoftBank VisionFund 😃
holy shit
Some solid year over year growth here
PhilCvercko
Is this in reference to WeWork?
Come on; why has no one made the “What’s your burn rate” joke?
colincampbell “First-mover advantage is massive”
colincampbell “We can get out when we have to”
colincampbell “The government can’t regulate it”
colincampbell “It scales”
Wildfires: the original platform expansion
a real life 'this is fine' meme...
On a related note, the California Legislature was just about to address the wildfire-prone power grid, but decided to ban teeny, tiny plastic bottles instead, because, well, California.
Look at FIRES's hockey stick chart !! I'd rate it a STRONG BUY right up there with all the other bluechips of DESERTIFICATION and SEA LEVEL RISE
Yah, sure, but what's to stop, say, another bright spark, with more ready access to combustibles, from stealing your idea, and getting bigger than you?
No problem monetizing this fire thing
Now that's what I call being on the hot seat
Is Jarred around?
“California Wildfire Could Be The Next Uber, Investors Say”
lzneedle
nickportilloo
mcmansionhell “Move fast and burn things”
HNTurtledove But does it web scale?
JPFarnsworth
stealthygeek “Some people might consider fire destructive, but I think if we sit down and talk with it we can find some common ground” Zuckerberg, probably
Peak Onion
The fire is the least dangerous thing in the room
insert 'burn rate' joke here
When is the next fire, and the next meeting?
Is that Zucherberg? Let it burn.
murrell_gina FFS LMAO
That's pretty dangerous. How did they do it safely?
While the fire burns through cash, VCs keep dumping more in.
Zuck and Pichai: You've been able to grow this fast without government scrutiny. Tell us how!
They have a lot of money to burn.
Very Hotmail.
Creative destruction...I'm sure they love it. Somehow Ive made it through life without Facebook.
😂😂😂😂😂
owillis They liked that it’s “creative destructive”.
Onion been on fire lately
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET KARMA COME
Unicorn fires next.
triketora Tricksy, this one is for you
This is a Onion all-timer.
It’s never too soon.
Silicon Valley leaders should be thrown into the wildfire now because one day they’ll become the government.
Big Tech: We want a majority share. How do we buy in. Fire: Trees and land. Big Tech: Say no more, fam
Gives new meaning to the phrase, “You’re fired!”
cc aaronfalk
and we're all about to be spammed with ads for fire extinguishers...
If only
They say that this fire was a start-up from a garage.
I can see this happening
Lol
You wanna growth hack this environment? Oxygen.
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