News Formal

U.S. To Offer Tax Incentives To Companies That Do Not Openly Make World Worse At Every Turn

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 22 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 12%
  • Publisher: 51%

South Africa News News

South Africa South Africa Latest News,South Africa South Africa Headlines

WASHINGTON—A growth-stimulus package introduced in Congress Thursday aims to provide tax incentives to companies that do not openly and unapologetically make the world a worse place than it already is. "We want to encourage American businesses not to commit blatantly destructive or fraudulent acts in plain sight where everyone can find out about them and get upset," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-NV) said. "We all understand that companies need to stay competitive: Maybe you had to cut a few corners on safety and accidentally released thousands of gallons of toxins into the water supply, or maybe you skillfully exploited regulatory loopholes to dupe your customers out of every dollar possible. That's okay. As long as you make a reasonable effort to cover it up, you're still eligible for this tax credit." According to congressional sources, companies that openly make the world worse can continue to apply for the same tax breaks they've always gotten.

WASHINGTON—A growth-stimulus package introduced in Congress Thursday aims to provide tax incentives to companies that do not openly and unapologetically make the world a worse place than it already is. "We want to encourage American businesses not to commit blatantly destructive or fraudulent acts in plain sight where everyone can find out about them and get upset," Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said.

"We all understand that companies need to stay competitive: Maybe you had to cut a few corners on safety and accidentally released thousands of gallons of toxins into the water supply, or maybe you skillfully exploited regulatory loopholes to dupe your customers out of every dollar possible. That's okay. As long as you make a reasonable effort to cover it up, you're still eligible for this tax credit.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

Openly.

I thought it was the other way around?

Under the Trump Administration the USA pollution index has dropped to 89th, below the UK, and France!

fat chance

I'm sure there's a loophole that allows them to keep the trumpocalypse rolling, like a campaign contribution lets them bury toxic waste under schools.

Can you name any of these companies?

You need to remove the words 'offer' and 'incentives' . Thats pretty much the US govt now.

“So, if you guys could just explore the second most catastrophic option...”

They stole ewarren s idea

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in ZA

South Africa South Africa Latest News, South Africa South Africa Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Novacyt biotech company says winning race for high-speed virus testFranco-British biotech company Novacyt says it can offer a coronavirus test that... 'Novacyt shares have risen by almost 400% so far this year after it said it had designed a test able to detect the coronavirus in less than two hours. Current testing, which can also identify other strains, can take up to a day.' The Rhino Gods will strike again against the Horn Eaters. Last shipment of Horn impregnated with multi virus.
Source: Reuters - 🏆 2. / 97 Read more »

TurboTax review: Not the cheapest, but the easiest to use - Business InsiderIf you are comfortable using a computer, TurboTax makes it easy to enter your tax forms and can handle even complex tax situations. Forget TuboTax, they're a dishonest rip off. CreditKarma app lets you file federal for free, right from your phone, a great deal when you pay no state income tax.
Source: BusinessInsider - 🏆 729. / 51 Read more »