‘I wrote an entire book to say goodbye to my sister’, says Jackie Bailey , the author of The Eulogy, pictured here as a child with her sister Allison.
We draw another sheet up to his chest. I light candles and place them at each corner of the bed as his daughter scatters rose petals around him. Tomorrow we will place him in a wicker casket. We will surround him with garlands and greenery and carry him out to the hearse. His daughter will accompany him to the crematorium where she will bear witness as her father’s body is placed in the fire.It’s seven years since my sister Allison died.
I later found out that the funeral company we had hired was not a local family firm as I had thought, but was actually owned by the multinational company InvoCare, which controls more than a third of the funeral market in Australia. In reality I have never been able to find a good guide to eulogy writing. They all seem to assume you are telling the story of a prosperous businessman who has lived to a ripe old age. But what about people like my sister Allison, who had no career, no children, no value in this calculus, even though she was the defining person in my life, the person who taught me how to love?
Hated cemeteries; hid in back of car if Dad drove past one. Back home after 20 yrs away, Dad proudly drove me to see his holiday house (grave). Sat by his side for 6 weeks as he past & learned to respect the process of final act. Death, as in life, is a ritual of love / respect.
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