Report Finds Tobacco Industry Aware Of Harmful Effects Of Flicking Lit Cigarette Into Giant Trail Of Gasoline For Years

BETHESDA, MD—According to a new report released Friday by researchers at the National Institutes of Health, the tobacco industry knew about the harmful effects of flicking a lit cigarette into a giant trail of gasoline for years, but chose to remain quiet.

“Sayonara, suckers!” while tossing a cigarette over his shoulder into a room doused in gasoline.” At press time, the National Institutes of Health were questioning how long the processed food industry had known that cyanide capsules could be dissolved in sugary soft drinks.

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