Every time we go out somewhere with family and a cell phone gets pointed in my child’s direction, I know what’s coming next. Sometimes I try to decide beforehand if I’m going to make a big deal about it or not, but most of the time, I end up making the decision in the moment. Someone reaches for my child’s pacifier and yanks it out of his mouth as if he’s sucking on poison — all so they can capture the perfect picture.
But I stopped anyway, and as I grew older, I eventually told people to leave me alone. Their nail biting or habitual tapping might bother me, but that didn’t give me a right to attack them. My little boy is not old enough to tell others to leave him alone though. All I see is a scared and intimidated child looking back at the adult that stole his sense of security during family events or at barber shop and stores. Then, occasionally, he looks over to me with a glance that’s begging me to help.
People try to convince me to get rid of my son’s pacifier by rattling off stories of kids that had speech problems or messed up gums, but I certainly don’t talk about how my grandmother died of lung cancer everytime someone lights up or highlight the rising rate of obesity when someone opts for their second slice of double chocolate cake. When someone brags about their late night out, I don’t scold them for depriving themselves of essential sleep or yell at them for their daily caffeine intake.
Kids don’t have the luxury of a million words at their disposal to tell us when someone’s look makes them uncomfortable, when an unknown environment terrifies them, or when they’re embarrassed by something , so I have to trust that my child is alleviating his own stress by sucking on plastic for a few minutes a day. I constantly hug my child and talk to him and listen to him when he does have the ability to share something, even if it’s only with a look or his body language.
When people commented on my daughter's pacifier I told them I'm sure she'll hide it when she's in college. She quit using it between 2 1/2 - 3 yrs old.