CEO Unveils Bold New Plan To Undo Damage From Last Year’s Bold New Plan

📆 1/9/2020 5:49 PM
📰 TheOnion

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NEW YORK—Saying it would mark a significant change in the company’s direction, Paradigm Marketing CEO Paul Dannon announced Monday a bold new plan that was evidently intended to undo the havoc caused by last year’s bold new plan. “It’s time to make some major shifts in how we do things [in reaction to the disastrous major shifts I implemented last year],” said Dannon of the sweeping new initiative that amounted to a point-by-point retraction of his sweeping initiative from almost exactly one year ago. “We’re all going to have to accept some changes [to salvage the resources wasted due to my last disastrous strategic move], but I’m confident this is going to be an important step [backward] for the company. And, who knows, maybe we’ll even have [no] fun [whatsoever] in the process.” At press time, Dannon was laying off several employees whose salaries amounted to the bonus he had received last year.

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This would make a great cover page for our College’s new Strategic Plan.

CloneTeee1019 how roblox was made

The bolder the better

So true

well the first thing they’re gonna do is blame the black guy without ever saying so

Rudolph13C is this us?

Good one!😆

First step, fire all of you for not stopping me when I came up with last year's plan.

By laying off thousands of workers!

Stop immediately! This brings back too many bad memories.

Why do I get the feeling we’ll be having this meeting again next year?

Do you work at my library?

Brazen

Davos in a nutshell.

cc: ass_deans

lol hi

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