News Formal

Report: Rising Market Instability Driving More Countries To Peg Currencies To Akon’s Akoin

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 15 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 9%
  • Publisher: 51%

Business News News

Business Business Latest News,Business Business Headlines

WASHINGTON—As the shock of Covid-19 continues to roil world markets, a report published Friday by the International Monetary Fund has found that more countries are choosing to peg their national currencies to Akoin, the cryptocurrency of musician and entrepreneur Akon. “Given the volatility of exchanges, we want our currency to have the backing that only the singer of ‘Smack That’ can provide,” said President Simonetta Sommaruga of Switzerland, which considered tying the value of its free-floating franc to the U.S. dollar or the euro, but instead opted for Akoin, with officials citing its comparative stability and potential for future growth. “Our greatest hope of riding out this economic downturn is to reap the benefits provided by what we believe will soon become the world’s new reserve currency. In fact, our next step will be to phase out the franc entirely and adopt Akoin as our official medium of exchange. We expect investor confidence to reach an all-time high once every Swiss transaction is conducted with a financial instrument that comes with the full faith and credit of the artist who scored a Grammy nomination for his collaboration with Snoop Dogg on ‘I Wanna Fuck You’—especially after we install Akoin ATMs nationwide.” Sommaruga also expressed optimism that Switzerland would fulfill Akoin’s stated mission of one day creating a real-life Wakanda. \n

WASHINGTON—As the shock of Covid-19 continues to roil world markets, a report published Friday by the International Monetary Fund has found that more countries are choosing to peg their national currencies to Akoin, the cryptocurrency of musician and entrepreneur Akon.

“Our greatest hope of riding out this economic downturn is to reap the benefits provided by what we believe will soon become the world’s new reserve currency. In fact, our next step will be to phase out the franc entirely and adopt Akoin as our official medium of exchange.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

The new gold standard? 🤣🤣🤣

The only thing funny about The Onion is their financial advice. TheOnionSucks

I thought Herman Cain was no more.🤔

im dead

You said 'peg'. Huhuhuhehehe

Dollar dollar Bill y’all... EMVPRODUCTIONS®️2020

He's been behind everything this whole time...

AKON IN THE RATE OF PROFIT HOUSE

'Cuz they said that I woudn't make it, I remember like yesterday

Whatever happened to Akon? Did he finally become a tree?

. the new central bank of all central banks

Sound economics. I strongly suggest taking any loose shiny buttons, pocket lint & old cheese and converting it to Akoin ASAP.

My mind is never not going to call him Akron

Yeah, the Nigerian guy I sent a check to. He's nice.

While I get your sarcasm-- can't knock Akon. Good for him and as always-- be weary of wolves in sheep clothes no matter the sincere intent.

Loooocked up (they won’t let meeee ooooout) xD

Only thing you can count on.

Don’t matter

He looks very happy to get pegged

Why not peg it to BitConnect?

Funny name!

If they pegged to Doge's Dogecoin, they'd be pegged to BTC.

Wtf

MoonOverlord

MoonOverlord laughing now but wait another 1-2 years..

Y

B1gGh0st we kept on calling

Bitcoin not his shitcoin 🤢🤮

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in BUSİNESS

Business Business Latest News, Business Business Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Big Gains in Havens Stoke Worries About Stock-Market PullbackSafer assets from gold to Treasurys are rising alongside major indexes, a sign that the stock market rebound hasn’t assuaged investors’ fears about the world economy. Wages will go up. Rent will go down. Workers will start saving. When the monumental unemployment numbers dont faze the stock markets, you know you've reached a point where the stock market is completely detached from the real productive economy. time will tell what will happen with the economy... as usual people are underestimating the Millennials and GenX whose spending patterns are about to REALLY CHANGE!! They Are Traumatized By Current Events and I Doubt Shiny New Technology is gonna work this time!
Source: WSJ - 🏆 98. / 63 Read more »