Personal finance tips: Our son moved home but is struggling to find work. What rules should we set?

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The more honest and structured you make this arrangement, the more likely it is to work out best for both of you.

When my son graduated from college in May, his mother and I told him he could live with us through the end of 2020 while he got on his feet. As you might have guessed, he’s struggled to find steady employment, and he’s not exactly on his feet, financially speaking, right now. We’re obviously going to allow him to stay, but I’m still trying to establish some parameters which will keep him headed in the right direction.

Living in the same home as an adult child can be as simple or as complicated as you make it, but there are several ways it can go wrong quickly. To begin with, there’s nothing fundamentally wrong if both you and your son want to live under the same roof. That determination is absolutely none of my business. But if you both feel that way, along with your wife, you are likely the exception to the rule. From what I’ve witnessed professionally, there’s always at least one party who isn’t all-in on the multigenerational household idea.

The best way to create structure is to sit down and discuss your son’s financial goals, as it relates to his time in your home. If he’s like most 22- to 23-year-olds, it’s unlikely he’s ever done this before. In fact, simply asking him his “financial goals” may prevent a really good conversation from taking place.

 

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