HARDISTY, ALBERTA—Growing emotional as he fastened himself to the oil transportation network, a tearful Justin Trudeau reportedly chained himself to the Keystone pipeline Friday to stop the Biden Administration from destroying a significant oil industry heritage site.
“For years, this beautiful pipeline has held a unique cultural value to the Canadian people, and I will do anything—even risk life and limb—to ensure crass environmental interests don’t prevent future generations from experiencing its incredible splendor of synthetic crude oil and diluted bitumen,” said the visibly upset prime minister, who paused several times to compose himself before emphasizing that the pipeline were a “national treasure” that rivaled the canals of Venice or even the...
It’s true, a lot of people don’t realize it but these are historically significant sites that need protecting.
Good. Leave him there.
Canada twitter cant decide if they hate him for being too pro-oil or anti-oil.
Fools, he chained himself to a pine tree. Watch the news.
Yes lol!
Worst prime minister ever. EVER!
Rare serious commentary from The Onion.
CC WEB3 FACADE METAVERSE CRYPTO BITCOIN FUD SPACEX ENERGY MRNA SNOWFLAKES NFT ** FUNDA FUND ** WHO HAS THE FUND? WHO HAS NO FUND, PRETENDING TO HAVE A FUND?
I am *very sure* this one will *never* happen in real life. (Crosses fingers hoping we haven't just jinxed this.)
🇨🇦 : 'I feel seen'
Pretty sure Canada has given up on that Last January
LOL
jkenney would still complain
God fucking damn
WBrettWilson
pea51821269 If only it were true lol
Selfish somma Bitches its like there brain shut off. Negotiate, look for a severance package an job training for future jobs. That they should automatically qualify for its like. There straight stupid, like they can't or don't wanna do whats rights. KEYSTONE workers think please
EcoEye Would he be available to stop the ShannonWaterPipeline? 😎😉 fixtheleaks first IrishWater EamonRyan EcofactEcology KennedyAnalysis SweetmanPeter KnocklyonNet SavetheHellfire FredPLogue Irishwildlife swanireland AnTaisce DublinGazette MarkRuffalo foeireland
I hope something is done about this terrible decision by Pres Biden destroying all these Jobs and Family's.
Why not get some stuff going for new energy so that the people who are currently working the pipeline can be trained for the green energy & transferred over without losing work?
Finally, normalcy is so potentially conceivable that the Onion can make stories again.
Something was missing
JonesHowdareyou Had me like whaaaaaaat? Then I was like, oh a parody account
mahtowin1 dallasgoldtooth lakotalaw standingrocker MyronDewey 😂🤣
mahtowin1 JustinTrudeau 🖕🏽
thelindsayellis What's sad is that before I realized this was The Onion I kinda thought it was real because that's how far we've fallen.
Trudeau is Trump Light, sadly.
Pretty sure I saw this in a movie once
kiranopal_ kurtisbaute come look at this 😭😭😭
Lol
A spoiled child.
thelindsayellis
norithics You guys had me there for a second NGL
thelindsayellis Ah bah tiens, M0diie
amymanlapas
1Lcampesino Believable
AmazingChevVolt You know The onion I always appreciate your articles & your delicious satire, BUT this one....shame on you! SHAME ON YOU FOR NOT ADDING BERNIE!!! berniesmittens 😂😂😂
DELETETRUMP9 Unlike his father, Justin Trudeau does see the opportunity. Reroute the pipeline to Flint and export Canadian water , instead
.JustinTrudeau 😂🖕🏾
Noahpinion Only the onion would depict a vertical pipeline to make a point LOL
KXL isn't the only thing that ought to become a 'heritage site'. Also SiteC work so far. Also TMX. All heavily subsidized. We would do better to cut our losses asap. Embrace a vision like this: another dimension 'More Fun, Less Stuff'
I’d like it if it was happening this week in Alberta. Pretty cold.
I thought the onion was supposed to be satire.
Will_Bunch Stranded assets are not good investments.
kenklippenstein 'Outraged Bernie Sanders Sits With Tearful Justin Trudeau In Attempt To Stop Biden Administration From Destroying The Very Passionate Though Obviously Misguided Canadian Prime Minister.' JustinTrudeau SenSanders POTUS Canada BernieSandersmemes BernieSandersMittens
kenklippenstein see, this could be a legit article, and I wouldn't be phased. We live in an era of parody and satire.
kenklippenstein Lol.
kenklippenstein he should be smeared with oil but otherwise excellent
Uh , wouldn’t it be better if you chained yourself to the faucet?
Such a crock of 💩
This would be funny if Jason Kenney was pictured.
On point! Where's his headdress ?
I love you guys. You guys really have a lovely organ. (Also, clearly I am a master of wordplay, hire me, you won’t regret it.)
Such an inspiration to all of us.
GreenpeaceCA
Ruth_HHopkins 😂🤣
No Bernie in the background, it's a fake!
Gotta show leadership
MatthewGreenNDP I wonder where Jason Kenney is?
Gilboron How else are we supposed to make temporary jobs and boost the economy of the oil industry and the places we pipe it out to?
christoaivalis what if it leaks, and he gets oil all over his face?
Great! Just missing a few USA politicians.
Actually justin trudeau just likes really dark things, and oil happens to be the right color
I wish we had the means to harness solar energy. It’s literally endless...
So why does democrats not want this pipe? The real reason
The man assuming he is the elected president of the United States is a criminal and Illegitimate farce. Contact President Trump and the Secretary of Defence of the US Military immediately. Take no action toward anything Joe Biden cobbles up. Americans are fighting back.
We didn't choose forward, we put a smile on the same climate inaction and failures in reconciliation. It's time to change how we vote in Canada. The Federal Liberals and the Federal Cons had the same sense of priorities. voteNDP
We are never going to get serious about climate change under Trudeau or the Cons. Just like his kneeling doesn't combat systemic racism or fascism, marching and talking to Greta has not resulted in climate action. If you're serious about climate action, vote NDPNOTABC.
Trudeau's liberals along with O'Toole and the CPC have voted against a lot of climate change legislation, so this article is on the nose. We have less than 9 years man, and the LPC and CPC doesn't take this issue seriously. NDPNOTABC
Why do you as a liberal, who says you believe in climate change and science, continue to support our PM after he has broken his climate targets several times, even the ones he borrowed from Harper?! Or excuse the carbon tax while the Liberals dish out money to big oil?
Thank goodness that Biden took climate action in Canada. Justin Trudeau only marches against himself in climate protests, he says one thing on the campaign trail, another to oil investors in Houston. Such a fauxgressive, he is!
😂😂
deBeauxOs1 Bob Rae actually did chain himself to a bulldozer at a roadblock attempting to stop logging in an old growth forest area north of Temagami.
He's such a wank
So is Alberta building a Tar Sands Oil Refinery? CleanItUpAtSource jkenney
VoiceOfFranky This is hilarious 🤣
Bullshit Biden is going to kill this country
Paul_E_Cohen Ha! Cry me a river, Justin.
Nah hes probably off starting another scandel or something
louisa_faux 😆😆😆
eltripol
hey PeterZeihan Did Biden just kill Canada?
🤣🤣🤣❤️❤️👍👍
Pffff
After Failing To Halt Export Of Oil Pipeline Trudeau Resorts To Selling Old Bag Of Cheeseburgers Behind Burnt Out Uhaul; Scratches Neck Too Often
As funny as that is it’s Alberta Premier Jason Kenney who will do that
Yes I read about this. Extreme steps. He really seems to be putting a lot of focus on this.
So this is what normalcy feels like again. When the parody is actually funnier then reality.
😂😂😂
therealEmmaHale Ok but at the rate you’ve been accurate over the last year... CAN WE NOT PUT THIS OUT IN THE ETHER? Don’t give the politicians ideas!!
I love when Canada makes The Onion.
Funny thing is he's standing in Minnesota. 🙂
Fuck, this is good.
justintrudeau stealing jkenney 's thunder 😆
LizardRumsfeld Canada can get fucked. Your long history of racial and resource exploitation can't hide behind politeness forever.
Facebook messing with your heads again?
worqas It's satire that I almost believed in. T doesn't care about this much
jason kenney is on his way to join him
You motherfuckers never miss.
😂
Laughable, but one has to do what one has to do, eh?
julianborger RadioFreeTom I glanced at this and at first thought to myself, 'Why is Tom chained to a pipeline?'
.JustinTrudeau Justin... And you so pretty and all, be a nice man.
Actually, the REAL story is this one
daviddoel im SCREAMING ONION YEAAAHHHH
Just think, to most Americans this is their first glimpse of Trudeau since his appearance in Borat.
Screw you JustinTrudeau, you would not dare do this to your native people but you want us to do it to ours?
daviddoel HA!!!!! 😍😍😍
Oh this is VERY funny
Good on Trudeau for actually taking actions on his beliefs for oncce!
Should have made this Kenney
X'D
This is not true.