NEW YORK—Saying he was “ready to own it,” Dan Burnside, departing CEO of the troubled Fortune 500 company Adelwright Industries, announced Friday he would be accepting full compensation for mistakes he made that jeopardized the business.
“Ultimately, as the head of this company, it’s up to me to shoulder the entire burden of a massive cash bonus, as well as stock options that ensure as much of the profit as possible falls on me. Though we’re hurting right now, I’m asking you to keep your heads up, because even when I’m no longer your CEO, I’ll still be there to take whatever you throw my way. That’s right—I’m going to stay on the payroll for years as a nominal consultant.
LiamWBZ Don’t you love it when the big boss f’s up and gets big money. In my job that I retired from(drinking water industry) I’d be in jail if I screwed up!
This is simply corporate scam. How you burn a house to the ground and get paid for it? 🤷🏿♂️
Where is the satire?
hbryant42 Evergreen Tweet. I predict it will be enshrined in the American Museum of Internet History.
It is the honorable thing to do 🧐
And sometimes they even get a raise! Right, ChipotleTweets?
gaijingirl2004 this is supposed to be a joke. why are you guys putting the facts here? please let us have the onion back.
'Golden Parachute Meets Golden Shower'
Onion is supposed to be sarcastic, this is a true story that happened quite a few times.
I'm reminded of how my puppy would steal one of my slippers & hold it as ransom until I gave him a treat.
Can Golden Parachute be crypto?🤔
mattdpearce too real
It cost 200 million to get rid of him and it was worth every penny.
Not all heroes wear capes.
TheStalwart Noble
😂
Nailed it again.
If we give the employees an extra $.50 an hour, then we’ll have to raise prices across the board by at least 10%. Do you really want to pay more for a cheeseburger because employees are selfish and ungrateful?
Proud of him.
Expects sizable bonus due to layoffs
Obligatory 'I thought this was supposed to be satire lol' reply.
hey now it's going to be alright he's landed a CEO job at Boeing ;)
He was fhired months later as a result.
Yeah! I accept full compensation for his mistakes as well! That'll show him to make more in the future!
Rock on!! Was it enough to buy a Gulfstream?
Not that interesting!! I would of done the same!!!!
Fake news, that could never happen