Crypto-Averse Man Would Prefer Investing In Traditional Stock Market He Also Doesn’t Understand

  • 📰 TheOnion
  • ⏱ Reading Time:
  • 18 sec. here
  • 2 min. at publisher
  • 📊 Quality Score:
  • News: 10%
  • Publisher: 51%

Business News News

Business Business Latest News,Business Business Headlines

FORT WORTH, TX—Dismissing the technology as a flash in the pan and doomed to fail, cryptocurrency-averse man Tim Blankenship told reporters Friday that he would prefer investing in a traditional stock market that he also doesn’t understand. “Call me old-fashioned, but I’d much rather trust my life savings with a more…

FORT WORTH, TX—Dismissing the technology as a flash in the pan and doomed to fail, cryptocurrency-averse man Tim Blankenship told reporters Friday that he would prefer investing in a traditional stock market that he also doesn’t understand.

I don’t want to keep up on the mystifying trends that affect crypto and lose all my money, when I could just as easily not keep up with the mystifying trends that affect the S&P or NASDAQ and lose all my money.” At press time, Blankenship had decided to invest his money in online blackjack since he at least understood how it worked.

 

Thank you for your comment. Your comment will be published after being reviewed.
Please try again later.

MEDABOTS MedabotsWorld is a new OUTSTANDING Triple A crypto game with its very own blockchain coming out soon! Medacoin $MEDA Play2Earn 3D graphics with marvelous detail Console Game (about 12 months) iOS Mobile Game Dec 25th Meda Bots NFT MRKTPlace

I feel attacked

Did the Onion just miss?

I have an idea. 80% increase in shear capacity of concrete slab using ECC concrete with a thickness of 3 cm. I wanted to know who is interested in investing in this idea? the prototype is built and tested(If you know someone who is investing in ideas,please introduce me to them)

And the point is? Another logical fallacy about crypto?

MaadMike

$matic polygon on-chain network's super cool. I got to know about $matic through NASDEX ( $NSDX). Maybe I can help you understand how the on-chain stock market works. Just ping me :)

Ryan_J_Lewis 😂

This isn’t even parody!

Came to decision to buy into mortgage derivatives, on margin, by the predictive powers of the chicken bones he rolled and reading the entrails of his sacrificial goat.

JoeSquawk ❗🎯🤣🤣

SLIM1N

Uh, guys? I don't stay away from crypto because I don't understand it. I stay away from crypto because I *DO*.

BeegSmokey guy in the article Onion writers 🤝 Don't understand either one Own both

Let me fix that for you: Man who doesn’t trust or understand the stock market chooses to invest in cryptocurrency he also doesn’t understand.

Wow ok so we're doing personal attacks now

Bahaaaa this one’s for CElston 😹😹😹

imightbesomeone hrishisolunke

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site.. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there..

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there.

GOD is there or not ? C'mon...GOD is omnipresent except ICU and Accidental death site. SUPER-POWER (GOD/ALLAH/SHIV/etc.) is really there..

We have summarized this news so that you can read it quickly. If you are interested in the news, you can read the full text here. Read more:

 /  🏆 724. in BUSİNESS

Business Business Latest News, Business Business Headlines

Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.

Some investors are putting more money into cryptocurrencies than stocksA survey of cryptocurrency investors found that many of them are now investing more money in the digital assets than they're putting in traditional brokerages. acorns I know I know we all probably must have heard about Bitcoin but don't know how it works, I tried it in a week ago by a man who recommended me to Randy_Jones32 on Twitter he guides me through and i made a return of $10500 after a week of trading, connect with him acorns Money not flowing into businesses is an economic disaster in the making.
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »

5 things to know before the stock market opens ThursdayDow futures dropped Thursday, one day after the 30-stock average set a new intraday all-time high but finished just under its mid-August record close. Any Basher Shorties talking Novavax vaccine purity is low at 70%,Pfizer has been tested at only 55%. And Japan basically threw away Moderna’s 100 million doses of contaminated vaccine, and the United States threw away 100 million of JNJs contaminated vaccines. Novavax’s 70%
Source: CNBC - 🏆 12. / 72 Read more »