One morning, while checking my inbox, I spotted an email from Michael Bungay Stanier, known in the life-coaching world as MBS. Despite growing up in Canberra – where he listened intently to friends in cars as they spoke of disastrous love lives and teenage angst – Bungay Stanier, 54, is not well known in Australia. But in coaching, he’s a big deal.
“Thanks MBS!” I write back, a flame of feel-good warmth lighting me up on the inside. Maybe I’m okay. I carry that glow inside for about 24 hours.“Done!” he replies, locking in our Zoom. And then: “You’re awesome and you’re doing great.” I feel cheated. He says this to everybody! It’s his automated email response! The little light snuffs out. I must confront him about this.
, the mindset-coach who tennis champion Ash Barty says helped her to world No. 1, the idea that you can change your life by changing your thoughts has gone mainstream.In the past few months, I’ve been on a journey into Australia’s unregulated life-coaching industry. I’ve been coached twice and found some wonderful professionals improving lives; some helping clients unpick years of harmful social conditioning and others promising a whole shiny new me if I take their life-coaching course.
“The client is the expert in their own lives. There is no telling, it is about listening deeply so you can ask the best questions.” Anecdotally, life coaching, as a profession and service, seems to be on the rise, says Sydney University’s Sean O’Connor, whose coaching psychology unit offered the world’s first postgraduate degrees in the field in 2000. But its unregulated nature makes it difficult to put numbers to, and some life coaches might be just “doing crystal healing sessions”, he says.helps coaches with contractual issues, has about 200 life coaches on her books; five years ago, there were five.
Jones says it felt like having one-on-one time with your favourite university professor – one who asks direct, straight-shooting questions. “She’s literally revolutionised my life,” she says of Nekvapil. “She’s like a mentor, a teacher ... a Mr Miyagi.” Nekvapil asks me questions: Have you worked out what success is? What would your 85-year-old self say about this? Being deeply listened to feels amazing and, when said out loud, my excuses for inaction suddenly appear rather flimsy. She has a strange effect on me: I would do anything – anything – she tells me.
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