Opening Statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr.
Paragraph One of the Report of Attending Physician , prepared by Dr. Ernest Grosscup, M.D., D.O., details the multiple fractures, contusions, and tissue damage suffered by Mr. Coyote as a result of this collision. Repair of the injuries required a full bandage around the head , a neck brace, and full or partial casts on all four legs.
In addition to reducing all Mr. Coyote’s careful preparations to naught, the premature detonation of Defendant’s product resulted in the following disfigurements to Mr. Coyote:3. Fracture of the left ear at the stem, causing the ear to dangle in the aftershock with a creaking noise.5. Radical widening of the eyes, due to brow and lid charring.
At this point, Defendant’s product should have thrust Mr. Coyote forward and away from the boulder. Instead, for reasons yet unknown, the Acme Spring-Powered Shoes thrust the boulder away from Mr. Coyote. As the intended prey looked on unharmed, Mr. Coyote hung suspended in air. Then the twin springs recoiled, bringing Mr. Coyote to a violent feet-first collision with the boulder, the full weight of his head and forequarters falling upon his lower extremities.
newyorkerhumor This is a joy to read if you’re an attorney, as it plants a seed of humor and creativity, and perhaps encourages us not to take ourselves so seriously. Great way to start (or end) the day.
newyorkerhumor Still one of my favorites.
newyorkerhumor 나란히 메달딴 러시아선수와 우크라이나선수 추우면끼안고 더우면 헤어지고 낄끼리? 전쟁은 피함이 원칙일듯 굶주림은 없을듯--추위에 돈쓰며고생? 우스개소리 코로나 양성판정에서의 완치-김종국-연구자료가될듯 백신에대한 항체의 생성능력이 별탈없이 양호한듯
newyorkerhumor Some months back I had no way of taking care of my kids , had no job or money also struggling through the pandemic,so I decided to try Bitcoin trading with the help of Allison_Grillo I was able to earn $50,000 now am financially stable.
newyorkerhumor I remember reading this and making copies of this for everyone in my office when that issue came out. Absolutely hilarious!
newyorkerhumor see my naked photos on the page