When my son was in third grade, he came home to tell me that one of the lunch aides at his school had complained that he only had “snacks” in his“Maybe you should start packing me sandwiches again, Mom,” he said, half-joking, but obviously unhappy with being judged in this way.The problem with his suggestion was that every sandwich I had made for him in the history of his elementary school career had gone untouched. He ate sandwiches just fine at home, but school was a different story.
Of course, this lunch aide didn’t know any of that. And while her comment didn’t bother me that much, it did get under my skin, especially because I could tell that my son felt some shame about what happened. At the time, I thought I was the only one whose kid had been questioned about their food choices at school. But I am far from alone. Since then, I have heard many stories of parents who have been scolded and shamed in similar ways.
The thing to remember is that when you send a kid home with a disciplinary note over something like eating, you are food shaming them, no two ways about it. What we do or do not eat is very personal and really no one’s freaking business. Furthermore, shaming a child in this way—especially such a small kid—isn’t without ramifications.
What particularly bothered me at that school was that they were forced to make changes to the cafeteria offerings because of over-bearing parents who force their diets onto the rest of the kids. Gone was the chocolate milk, gone was ice cream Friday. Ugh, drove me nuts!
oh girl, we had this issue at my son's previous school. My 9 yr old is super picky and if all he will eat is oreo's, I'd rather he have something in his belly than go through the whole school day hungry. He will eat healthy-ish at home, when it can be warmed up.
My daughter was forced to throw away her packed lunch and buy school lunch because the food in her packed lunch was 'not enough' food for her to eat. Her packed lunch was a large granny smith apple and peanut butter. The food was healthy and plenty for her to eat in kindergarten.
I knew a Kindergarten teacher who gave rewards to students who selected water with their school lunch instead of milk (because of the additional sugar in chocolate and strawberry? ). I wonder if it ever occurred to her that that might be the only milk those kids got that day?
As a teacher, it’s hard to believe there is time to send such notes. What’s on a kids lunch isn’t my business. if a kid comes in with a bag of takis and says it’s his whole lunch, I encourage him to get a (free) school lunch so they have options. I don’t want a kid to be hungry.
100% agree that, absent actual health issues that are harming a child, no one should second-guess a parent's decisions. Certainly not anyone at the child's school. parentslove--parentsdecide. Only the parent has the full understanding of the weekly dietary intake. Butt out!
Teacher took away the Oreos and milk chocolate out of my daughter’s box and she was only left with a sandwich to last the whole day… I get the whole healthy eating blah blah but no need to take it away, what happened to 80/20 rule?
When my kid was little, I got a note from school that my kid was eating his sandwich at recess and had no sandwich at lunch. So I started sending him with two sandwiches. So I then got a note complaining that he was wasn’t eating the second sandwich.