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, an email marketing company, right before dropping some absolutely bonkers claims including: “Birthday emails generate 342% higher revenue per email than promotional emails.”No wonder companies want to wish you a happy birthday so bad — they’ll ride that feel-good feeling of a birthday wish straight to the cash register where you’ll get a donut to go along with your free coffee or take advantage of 20 percent offto get that thing.
Still morning, and my email is surprisingly bare except for emails from family and friends. Nice going, me! I get around to checking out the birthday animation on my Apple Watch. It had balloons. I get a kick out of it. I show it to my eight-month-old, who was momentarily fascinated and then resumed her usual morning routine of playing “grab the trash can.” She did not wish me a happy birthday. I forgave her.